My Out Of The Way Place


I peer into the dark and wonder where you are.

Do you see the same stars in the sky?

Is the chill of the night air cool upon your skin?

I peer into the dark and wonder where,

Knowing that the answer may never come.


I wake with a start with the answer upon my lips.

In darkness all is lost.

I cannot even remember the question.

Illumination is not a quest.

Only a cold hard shot in the dark.

Once again it has missed.


Go ahead and hide your face.

Every facet is indelibly etched on my mind.

Forever remembered.

Forever loved.


To celebrate my birthday, I will be attending a concert headlined by Seether and Staind. I can only hope that Amy Lee will make an appearance.


Last night, a feeling of calm washed over me that I haven’t felt in a long time. I have grown to completely distrust this feeling. It seems that after the calm inevitably comes the storm. Perhaps the calm is a warning that the storm is coming and a reminder of the storms that I have weathered in the past and came through maybe a little windblown but still intact.  For now, I will enjoy the calm and patiently await the next storm.


You say that I’m the one to blame

For giving you my trust.

I’ll take the fault, I’ll take the blame

If you feel I must.

It is my fault. I gave you wings

To soar if you could in life.

I knew the risks, the dangerous things

That lead to heartache and strife.

So fly away, if you must

Yet, remember if you will.

A cold hard task to regain one’s trust

Even if I love you still.

If a time should come when you need someone to ease your pain or dry your tears,

Remember my child, I shall be here with all my love through all my years.


Weary of mind, weary of body, weary of soul.

I am left with unanswerable questions.

You wandered off to paths that none should tread.

Searching for treasures

Finding nothing

Losing all.

Forsaking the sunlit paths, you chose the darkness.

Gazing into that darkness, I grow numb.

I send you hope to find the light once more. 


The storm has passed. The sky is quieted. The howling wind has blown away. The crack of thunder has dulled to a slow sonorous rumble. The hailstones lay upon the ground. Their presence slowly melting away from memory. Only the soft patter of raindrops falling from the leaves remain to give credence to the fury that has departed. I stand upon the grass, thankful for the passing of the storm, bathed in calm.


I sat with the gun in my hand peering vacantly into the dark.

Thinking of all the reasons to be gone.

I sat with the gun in my hand peering vacantly into the dark.

Thinking of all the reasons to stay.

I sat with the gun in my hand and the dawn painted light upon the horizon.

I put the gun away. The Dawn had given me all the reason to stay.

Years ago, after a difficult breakup with my then fiancee, I stayed up all night drinking and wondering how everything had gone so wrong. Early that morning, I found myself parked on the side of a lonesome road with a loaded .357 and all intentions of ending my life. By chance or fate or some higher purpose, I was facing the dawn. When the dawn arose, I found that I could not bring about my end at the start of a new day. I do not remember anything in particular that happened that day, but each day seemed easier to live. So much has happened in my life since then and I am thankful for that dawn so long ago. I was reminded of this today. I wish that everyone that experiences the loss of hope could see their dawn.